She Ghosted Me And Came Back! What Now? - Magnet of Success (2022)

If your ex ghosted you and came back, you need to think long and hard before you take your ex back. You need to understand that ghosters do what they do because they aren’t able to handle their unwanted emotions. They never were, so they just react to them and do what they think is best for them.

To them, leaving their partner abruptly makes much more sense than explaining why they feel unhappy. Part of that has to do with the fact that they lack morals, self-control, and the ability to find a solution that helps their partner as well as them.

But another reason is that they don’t have the patience and emotional strength to think about their partner’s feelings and talk to their partner about their reasons for leaving. That’s why they leave in a way that strips their partner of his/her importance and closure and make their partner or rather, ex-partner seek closure completely on his or her own.

Of course, most ghosters don’t hurt their boyfriends and girlfriends on purpose. But because they lack empathy and self-awareness, that’s exactly what they do. They hurt the person they’d lost feelings for and do what makes them happy.

I suppose they feel so guilty and apprehensive about telling their partner the truth that they run away from the problem and ignore it. That way, they don’t have to deal with their about-to-become ex.

Why bother explaining themselves when there’s a chance that they’ll receive a strong emotional reaction from their partner? I’m talking about an angry or sad reaction that would make them feel even more pressured or guilty.

If you ask me, ghosters don’t have the courage to put themselves in a situation they don’t want to be in. Especially if the situation demands that they explain themselves and help their struggling ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

The topic of this post is what to do if your ex ghosted you and wants you back. We’ll talk about what you can expect if you take a ghoster back and whether you should take your ghosting ex back.

She Ghosted Me And Came Back! What Now? - Magnet of Success (1)

What to do if your ex ghosted me and came back?

If your ex ghosted you and came back, you need to understand what your ex did to you. I’m not saying you should hold grudges, but you should comprehend how your ex treated you and what she’s capable of.

Firstly, you need to judge people by their actions. If they act selfishly, they obviously don’t care about your feelings. They care about your feelings only when they’re happy – and that doesn’t make them good partners.

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What makes people good and reliable partners is when they behave properly under pressure. That’s when they show how much they care about you and how developed they are as people.

So what does this mean for your ex?

It means that your ex showed you who she is at her worst. She showed what she thought of you and most importantly, how she treats people when she feels overwhelmed.

You should use that knowledge to discover who your ex is at the core. Knowing that will help you figure out if it’s possible to cooperate with your ex’s dark side and make the relationship stronger.

Secondly, if you’re contemplating taking your ex back, you should also understand why your ex came back. Figure out what went wrong in her life and what she’s learned in your absence.

If she got hurt by another guy but hasn’t done anything to improve her ethics, commitment, and self-control, you probably shouldn’t get involved with her again. If you do, you’ll likely see her old traits when things go south.

You may not get ghosted again, but you could see her react in similar immoral ways and get hurt.

So protect yourself by taking your ex’s ability to hurt you away. Do it so your ex can’t inconspicuously crawl back into your heart and backstab you when you least expect it. Normally, a person who’s overcautious and self-protective in a relationship has trust issues, but in this case, it’s not about having trust issues.

It’s about self-respect and taking the time to discern your ex’s improvements, worth, and intentions. You need to learn not just whether your ex has come back for you and the right reasons, but also if she’s committed to growing and improving as a person.

Her willingness to work on herself will determine the success of your relationship if you get back together after getting ghosted.

So pay attention to her interest in you. It will tell you how eager she is to be with you and what she’s willing to sacrifice and change to get on your good side.

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You can tell your ex is serious about earning your trust back if she lowers her ego and places herself at your mercy. That would mean that she’s letting you control the pace of the relationship and that she won’t resist any changes, requests, and suggestions you may have for her.

For a ghoster ex to change, keep in mind that she has to commit to self-improvement and work on herself for so long and with such fervor that she makes self-improvement her main goal in life. Only then can she actually develop herself into a person that the relationship requires her to be.

Many dumpers need a strong emotional incentive to grow, so don’t be afraid to tell your ex what’s going to happen if she starts to show her old traits and disappoints you. Being afraid of losing her and acting on that fear won’t help you keep her interested.

It will most likely give her leverage as it will show her that you need her back more than she does. That will, in turn, discourage her from working on herself and procuring your validation and approval.

So instead of throwing yourself at your ex’s feet, mention to her that you don’t want to see her behave the way she did in the past and that she needs to get her act together this time.

Say that it’s her one and only chance at redemption and that there’s no more relationship if she messes up and fails to impress you. She either learns to communicate and handle her intrusive thoughts and feelings or she’s out for good.

I know this seems mean and threatening, but you need to remember that when your ex ghosts you, she takes all your power away. She lets you deal with the breakup on your own while she does what makes her happy.

That’s why the roles need to reverse. You needn’t be having the time of your life while she’s trying to improve, but you should let her see that you value yourself and that you’ve learned to stand up to people who mistreat you.

Should I take a ghosting ex-girlfriend back?

I’ll share my opinion on whether I would take a ghosting ex back in just a few minutes. But for now, I’d like to give you a few rules to follow that will help you decide if taking a ghoster back is worth the trouble.

First of all, taking an ex back is risky. I’m not saying this to scare you and dissuade you from getting back with your ex, but you need to know dumpers sometimes come back for themselves and leave again. Some dumpers just don’t have what it takes to stay in love because they come back out of boredom, anxiety, or jealousy and take their partner for granted again.

Such dumpers usually leave again within a few weeks of coming back.

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Bear in mind that an ex wanting you back is merely the first step toward a successful reconciliation. It’s the part where your ex realizes she’s made a mistake and wants you back. The biggest part which consists of working on herself remains a mystery.

You just don’t know what your ex has done or is willing to do to change.

What does this mean for you?

It means that even if your ex has learned your worth and regrets dumping you that she’ll still have to address her issues. Her issues won’t disappear on her own. They’ll go away when your ex takes them seriously and does something about them.

The thing you need to pay attention to when your ex ghosts you, therefore, is whether she has learned her lessons while you were broken up (if a lot of time has passed since the breakup) or if she’s committed to learning and improving now that she wants you back.

My advice is to ask her lots of self-growth-related questions. See if she’s learned anything while she was were gone and if she’s eager (almost desperate) to improve herself for you and the relationship.

An ex who’s interested in growing with you will answer all questions and leave you with no doubts about her willpower and behavior. Sure, you’ll have some doubts about her commitment as you’ll fear that history will repeat itself, but you won’t worry about whether she’s committed to growing.

So make sure she’s ready to do what’s necessary for the relationship and ask her the following questions.

Questions like:

  • Why did you ghost me last time?
  • Do you think it was the right thing to do?
  • What would you do today if you felt the same way
  • What makes you certain that you won’t ghost anyone again?
  • What are you going to work on if we get back together?
  • Are you willing to show me your improvements and talk about what else you need to work on?

If your ex answers these questions truthfully and you like her answers, your ex may be serious about improving her flaws and being with you. She may be able to make the necessary personal changes and gain your respect. All you’ll have to do is decide if you can forgive her for ghosting you and trust her fully again.

If you’re going to bring up her ghosting and express disapproval every time you argue, it’s better that you don’t give your ex another chance. Your relationship won’t be able to grow if you berate your ex when she’s trying to leave her old self behind.

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So make a decision on whether she’s capable and willing to change and if you can trust her again and encourage her to keep growing.

Here are 5 things you should do if your ex ghosted you and then came back.

She Ghosted Me And Came Back! What Now? - Magnet of Success (2)

Would I take someone who ghosted me back?

I’ve been doing this long enough to know that some ghosters, cheaters, liars, and impulsive people can change for the better. They can change their behavioral patterns and be better people if they want to. But despite knowing that people can improve, I probably wouldn’t give a ghoster another chance.

The reason for that is that I live by strong moral values and expect my romantic partner to treat me the way I treat her. Every day is a chance for her to show me if she wants to work with me and on herself, so if she were to ghost me and betray my trust, I probably wouldn’t like that.

She’d damage my expectations of her and tell me that she doesn’t value me and isn’t ready for the kind of relationship I wish to have.

I’m aware of the fact that no one is perfect, but I wouldn’t be willing to wait for her to fix something so basic such as poor morals and a lack of self-control. I wouldn’t have the patience for it even if I scared her off by being too clingy and needy.

If she had a problem with me while she was with me, I’d want her to communicate that problem like an adult and not run away like a coward.

I’m not sure what other people talk about with their partner, but my partner and I often talk about ghosting and cheating. We discuss that a person who does these things lacks self-respect as well as respect for his or her partner and that getting back with him or her isn’t worth it.

That means that if my partner were to ghost me and come back months later that she’d do exactly the opposite of what we previously discussed. She’d make me realize that she didn’t mean half the things she said and that our values are way too different for us to be with each other.

The only time when I’d consider making some sort of a plea deal and cooperate with a ghosting ex is if we had children together or shared certain responsibilities.

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Did your ex or a girl you liked ghost you and come back? What was her excuse for ghosting you? Let me know if you’re thinking of giving her another chance in the comment section below.

Or if you need help deciding and would like to talk to us about it, visit our coaching page for more information.

FAQs

What do you say when a ghoster reappears? ›

Sorry. I had fun with you, but I need consistent contact in order to feel a connection.” Send this text to end the conversation, especially if you know the person can't or won't change, says dating and relationship therapist Anita Chlipala, LMFT.

How does the ghoster feel after ghosting someone? ›

Ghosters also experience negative consequences from the act, but with less positive long-term influences, the study found. After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings.

How do you handle running into someone who ghosted you? ›

If you see them in public, it's best to treat them like every other passerby. Acknowledge their presence, and keep it moving. If they decide to be a grown-up and make conversation, oblige only if you want to. If you don't, you can gracefully dismiss them by returning to the activity you were doing in the first place.

Should you take someone back after ghosting? ›

Ultimately, the choice of giving a guy who had ghosted you and came back another chance is up to you. But you need to give the situation time and careful consideration. If he pressures you or threatens you to hurry up and make up your mind, that's a red flag, and you should strongly consider cutting him off completely.

Why would a woman ghost a man? ›

If you've been ghosted by a woman, the most likely reason is because you either failed to display adequate value as a man, or you didn't hold her interest enough to maintain a position of positive romantic attraction on her radar. In essence, she 'ghosted' you to avoid having an awkward “I'm not into you” conversation.

Do Ghosters miss you? ›

Do ghosters miss you? Oh, sure. They miss something about you, anyway. Identifying what that something is will help you decide whether responding to their out-of-the-blue text is worth your trouble.

Are Ghosters narcissists? ›

Narcissists are truly ghosts; they are just shadows of humans, lacking any depth or emotion. Ghosting is painful and can make you feel worthless, but it has nothing to do with the living: ghosting has everything to do with the dead.

What type of person is a ghoster? ›

Men who end relationships by 'ghosting' — suddenly cutting off all communication — tend to have the dark personality traits of narcissism and psychopathy, a new study has found. Researchers from the University of Padua in Italy surveyed 341 US adults about ghosting and tested their personality traits.

What is the psychology behind ghosting? ›

People respond to being ghosted in many ways, from feeling indifferent to deeply betrayed. Some believe that ghosting is inseparably intertwined with modern electronic communication, and the practice is a way to cope with the decision fatigue that can accompany dating.

Why do Ghosters always come back? ›

A primary reason why ghosters always come back is the amount of support that a loving relationship can provide. If the two of you had a perfect thing going, which often is the case when ghosting happens, you were likely a unique support system for your partner.

What do you text a ghoster for closure? ›

Texts To Send If You Want Closure
  • “I am getting the sense I'm getting ghosted. ...
  • “I enjoyed getting to know you the last few weeks, but I realize our time has come to a close. ...
  • “Since you do not feel comfortable sharing your feelings about what our deal is, I will close the door for us.
Feb 1, 2022

How long is considered ghosting? ›

While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.

Should I give a second chance to someone who ghosted me? ›

For the most part, yes. As Genfi points out, ghosts tend to breeze back into people's lives with nary an apology in sight, as if nothing happened.

Should I text the girl who ghosted me? ›

Overwhelmingly, all the experts we consulted recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. We know! It's hard. Sending a message is just not worth your time or energy, especially since you can't control the response.

Does no contact work on someone who ghosted you? ›

Go no contact on them completely and there's a good chance you're ex will miss you. If not, consider it your gain to be free of someone who would do that to another. If they are willing to do this to you now, they'll likely ghost you again in the future.

Is ghosting emotional abuse? ›

Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.

How do you text a Ghoster girl? ›

12 Texts To Send Someone Who Ghosted You
  1. It was nice getting to know you. ...
  2. I take it you're not a great texter. ...
  3. I had fun getting dinner last week! ...
  4. Me and my roomies are getting a drink tonight. ...
  5. It's been a minute — want to check that you're OK!
Sep 30, 2020

What to do when she leaves you on read? ›

<p>Where Did They Go? How To Deal When You've Been Left 'On Read'</p>
  1. Don't Assume The Worst. Though social media can make it seem like everyone is available at all times, they're not. ...
  2. Please Don't Keep Texting. ...
  3. Re-examine The Message. ...
  4. Do Something Else. ...
  5. Pursue Someone Who Is Actually Interested.
Oct 23, 2020

What do you text a ghoster for closure? ›

Texts To Send If You Want Closure
  • “I am getting the sense I'm getting ghosted. ...
  • “I enjoyed getting to know you the last few weeks, but I realize our time has come to a close. ...
  • “Since you do not feel comfortable sharing your feelings about what our deal is, I will close the door for us.
Feb 1, 2022

Why do Ghosters come back? ›

Occasionally, a ghoster might come back because a significant amount of time has passed, and they've changed. They want to take responsibility for their behavior and make amends with you.

Why do guys come back after ghosting? ›

They've just been dumped

You may think your ghoster has returned because they missed you. Sometimes, people use other people for attention. They might be going through a breakup and feeling insecure about themselves. A quick ego boost by someone who had feelings for them could make them feel better.

Videos

1. Ex Back 101: No contact vs active no contact vs passive no contact vs radio silence vs smart contact
(Coach Andy Graziosi)
2. STOP CHASING A Girl & Do This Instead! (She Will CHASE YOU)
(Aaron Doughty)
3. How to Manifest Your EX BACK FAST | WARNING: Instant Results! (Law of Attraction)
(Manifest with Kaisa)
4. Taurus ♉️ A karmic cycle closing is pushin U into great success. Perfect timing ✨🌈 stay strong 💪🏾
(Tarot with EmpressEva)
5. Non-invasive Neurosurgeries using Ultrasound and Magnetic Resonance Imaging
(Fralin Biomedical Research Institute)
6. Dr Joe Dispenza - How To Attract Love Instantly and Manifest Specific Person Into Your Life
(Motivation Cove)

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